


The comment

by Mybadbrainday (orphan_account)



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Fluff, Frottage, Hand Jobs, M/M, Teasing, pink and fluffy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-30
Packaged: 2018-04-07 07:25:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4254546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Mybadbrainday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes he couldn't believe that he had been so awkward around the subject of fan fiction. It was not until he started reading some of the fics that he realized that there certainly was a lot of bad fics out there (more than a lot actually), but once in a while he stumbled over a really great writer and then all the bad fics that had burnt his eyes out was forgotten and he just never wanted the good fics to end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by some of you amazing writers out there! 
> 
> This turned out to be a short sweet and cute piece about my favorites! 
> 
> Lovely beta work by pink_chokolate_unicorn, as always!

_“I’m so addicted to your writing right now… My ‘reading’ has been hooked on your ‘writing’ for a while now. And you keep surprising me and seducing me with those alluring words of yours._

_Your writing is like heroin to me and I keep coming back for fix after fix. Please don't ever cut me off your ‘writing!’_

_”...’Cause I don't want to go to rehab. I say...”_

_Your fics are the perfect combination of RR Martin, Tolkien and Stephen King (yeah I didn’t really see the last one coming...but nevertheless true ;-). You write Sam and Dean better than the writers of the show!_

_Just trying to say I love your work! (In a very creepy way) …like … Really, really love your work! :-)”_

Jensen read through the review he was about to post on a story he had just read on AO3. He read through it one more time before he decided to delete the whole thing.

Instead he wrote:

_“This was amazing, as always! Thank you!”_

He knew that he would get a reply from samjarpad in a few days time. She always did reply to the comments on her fics. He loved her work, even enjoyed reading her ‘thank you’ notes. He wished he had the courage to send the comment he originally wrote but he knew that would come of as very creepy and kind of... stalk-y, so he didn't. Instead, he wrote these boring appreciative comments on fic after fic; never really expressing how this writer actually made him feel.

He figured that the writer behind samjarpad most likely was an obese fan girl, living out her fantasies through writing these fan fics about the characters he and Jared played on the show, but this infatuation of his wasn't about that. It wasn't about looks or appearance. This was just a feeling of true admiration for a writer who managed to capture the essence of the show. He always felt this writer had the same take as he did on what the show was about and he was totally crushing, in a non-sexual way.

Platonic crushing...?

He amazed over how much he anticipated the reply to his lame comment. And when the comment finally did show up, he was all tingly about it! This time it was short.

_“So happy I could please one of my most faithful readers! Thanks honey :-)”_

So even if this writer got lots and lots of comments on her fic's, she had actually noticed that he was a ‘regular’? It was silly how much that thought overjoyed him.

Encouraged by the writers recognition of him, he wrote out his first comment again and posted to the next fic Samjarpad posted. He tried to make it a little less ‘stalk-y’ this time around, but still hoping that the essence of his admiration would shine through.

The response he got made it worth the stress.

_“Oh, my god! This has to be the greatest comment I have received ever. Wow! I'm just blown away. That was just …wow! Totally lost for words right now…_

_Guessing you are a writer yourself ‘cause wow! (again…) Thank you for the greatest comment ever! I would of course never cut you off; Dealing in reader’s ‘heroin’ is what I live for ;-)”_

Jensen felt himself blushing in front of the screen. How could someone's reply to just a comment make him feel this way? It was crazy and he knew it. But then again, him reading fan fiction based on the character he played on the show was even crazier… He had stopped caring about crazy many years ago.

Sometimes he couldn't believe that he had been so awkward around the subject of fan fiction. It was not until he started reading some of the fics that he realized that there certainly was a lot of bad fics out there (more than a lot actually), but once in a while he stumbled over a really great writer and then all the bad fics that had burnt his eyes out was forgotten and he just never wanted the good fics to end.

Unfortunately, they did… But with luck, the writer had written other fics in the same fandom, and then you had your fix for a few more days! Lucky for Jensen, samjarpad was a very productive writer and she published something at least once a month. Not nearly enough for Jensen’s cravings but enough to keep him afloat.

Not only did this writer produce some of the most amazing fics about Sam and Dean, she also wrote great J2 fics.

Yes! He was aware that there was fiction written about him and his co-star as their persons in real life. That was a bit creepy at first, but pretty soon he figured that ‘Jared’ and ‘Jensen’ in these fics were just as much make belief as Sam and Dean. It was portraits made up from YouTube clips and whatever showed up on social medias. It was Jared and Jensen’s public personas, not the real persons.

The weird part thou was that he really enjoyed reading those fics as well. He did have a crush on his co-worker, and had had so for many years. Reading some of the better J2 fics really turned him on in a weird way.

The thing about samjarpad was that her J2 fics were scarily accurate when it came to portraying Jared and Jensen’s relationship. Sometimes he felt like the writer had read his mind and then written it down. There was one fic in particular that was even scarier than the others. One of him and Jared staying at a hotel in Rome, and the events played out there was almost exactly what Jensen himself had imagined would have happened between them in his fantasies over and over again. It never did happen in real life, though...

He had thought about writing a J2 fic himself and publish it, but he hadn’t had the courage yet.

Tonight, thou encouraged by the recognition, he felt inspired and started writing down one of his latest hot fantasies he had about his best friend (and star of most of his sexual fantasies). It turned out to be a short but very hot (if he said so himself) piece about their latest trip to Europe-- describing the sex he and Jared had on the plane over in order to become members of the ‘mile high club'. It was a fantasy he had entertained every time he sat next to Jared on a aircraft, thighs pressed together in the cramped space on the airplane.

Nowadays first class wasn't that tight and he kind of missed the good old days. Fortunately for him, not even the most luxurious airplanes had enough space to fit his colleague comfortably, so some part of Jared’s legs usually ended up invading Jensen’s space; Very much to his amusement (and secret enjoyment).

He published his story, not really expecting anyone to read it, and went to bed.

A few days later he logged on to his account to see what had happened to his story. To his surprise, there were actually kudos on his story. And comments! Wow, the feeling was exhilarating. He was amazed at how fun it was to get this kind of recognition over something he wrote. People out there in cyberspace had actually taken the time to read his story-- and even liking it.

There were 35 kudos to be exact and five comments. All of them appreciating how hot the story was, and even some wishing for him to continue the story. There was one comment that caught his eye immediately, though. Samjarpad had commented on his story! He was euphoric!

_“Phew! That was so hot... Reminds me of one of my own recurring fantasies, actually! Really enjoyed it, and it was well written! Thank you!”_

Oh, wow! Samjarpad had read his story and she liked it. He didn't know what to do now. He needed to reply to the comments, and he really wanted to write a reply that was worthy of the admiration he felt for this alluring fan girl, but he found that he was kind of star struck and ended up with a boring ‘thank you for commenting’ instead of what he really wanted to write.

The irony of him crushing on a fan girl writing fan fiction about him wasn’t lost on Jensen. What was even more of an irony was that it seemed she was a Sam-girl, not a Dean-girl. But then again maybe that was why he loved her stories so much. She had a way of describing Sam (and Dean for that matter) which just hit home with him.

He really wanted to talk –No, not talk, communicate with this girl. He didn’t want to ruin the illusion he had in his head of this woman with a voice, or a picture for that matter. He just wanted to admire the creativity at work here without any interjections of preconceptions. He wanted a pen pal. Not a flirt.

He had quickly realized that reading slash fiction was highly addictive, he didn't know that writing it was even more so. He had to write another story to get another hit of this lovely, lovely drug. This time he pulled out an old memory of him and Jared filming a scene that required them to straddle each other's laps in order to get the close up shoot the director wanted. That had left Jensen in a funny kind of mood the rest of the day, fantasizing about what else he would like to do while straddling that lap... without clothes and cameras. That was his favorite go to ‘jerk off memory’. He posted it and sat back for a few days.

In the meantime samjarpad had posted another short PWP-story that absolutely blew his mind. This time it was a J2 fic. Describing in detail how Jensen’s singing affected Jared. It was, as always, beautifully written. Oh, how Jensen wished that what she wrote had been the truth about him and Jared! He really wanted to write this writer in person, but he just didn’t dare...

That was of course until the day he received a private message from samjarpad...

To be continued...


	2. Chapter 2

_”Sorry to bother you privately like this. Not my intention to come off as a stalker or anything, but I just have to tell you that your fics are absolutely amazing and also awkwardly accurate when it comes to describing some of my hottest sexual fantasies. * Blushing* (Oh my god can’t believe, I just admitted that to a stranger…)_

_Anyhow, I’m just curious of your inspiration? It seems almost like you are writing from experience (in which case I’m truly jealous, btw...) Don’t want to come of too strong here but if you decide to write me back, I would probably have a true “fan boy moment” over here! Don’t really expect you to answer though and I truly respect if you want to keep your privacy._

_So if I don’t hear from you, I just want you to know that I loved your work, and your comments on each and every single fic of mine (yes I’ve noticed), have always been very much appreciated!_

_Love,_

_Tristan"_

‘Oh, my god! This wasn’t really happening, was it?’ Jensen thought to himself as he pinched his arm slightly, just in case... ‘TRISTAN’??? That wasn’t a girls name, was it? But then again, maybe it was... Could be some kind of nickname or something? But then there was the ‘fan boy’ part...

There was no way that the fics he had masturbated to was written by a man. They just couldn’t be ...Could they?

Jensen had been so caught up in the perception that all fan fic writers were women, he hadn't really considered the possibility of his favorite writer being male. But now coming to think of it, maybe that was what he felt so familiar with. Maybe that was what, their shared common perspective in this was? Maybe that's why he felt so connected to this guy? (He still had a hard time grasping the change in pronoun, though...)

Jensen pondered on the subject for days before he decided that shared gender identity was not the only explanation for the bond he felt with this writer. There was something else there, something closer to home. At least, that is what it felt like to him. but Then again he was aware of how fans of his had taken their admiration too far and totally misinterpreted things that wasn't at all what they thought them to be, so he was very much aware that he may very well be the one blowing things out of proportion here.

Still, he had to find out more about Tristan. He pondered the whole weekend trying to come up with a great response to Tristan’s mail.

He did not have the time to respond because late Sunday night another hot and sexy fic showed up written by samjarpad.

He read samjarpad’s latest fic through. And then started all over again. After reading it through the third time, he decided that it wasn't him reading wrong or misinterpreting the whole thing. It was actually stated there, black on white, a fact that only himself and Jared could possibly know about…

He sat back in shock, taking deep breaths, trying hard to calm himself down. This was only his imagination running wild… “This wasn't what he for a brief moment had, _hoped fo_ r, _Wished for, and dreamed of_! It really couldn't be? Could it...? That would just be too good to be true!” he thought to himself with his frantic pulse ringing in his ears.

He read through the short sentence on the screen one final time before he sent samjarpad a private message with shaking hands:

_"Jared, is that you...?"_

He held his breath when he pushed the send button. What if it actually was Jared on the other end? What if this was only one of Jared’s elaborate pranks? What if it was Jared, but he was afraid to admit it? (If an obsessed fan of his writing had confronted Jensen, he most certainly wouldn’t respond.)

Oh god, why had he sent that mail?

Of course Jared wouldn't admit it was him--if, it in fact, was him. But it had to be. No one else could have known about the detail in the last fic, and no one but Jared would be able to describe their relationship so spot on.

Jensen was an emotional wreck. He went to work the next morning with hardly any sleep. The makeup artist complained about the darkness under his eyes. Jared showed up and acted all causal. There was absolutely nothing out of the ordinary going on with Jared, at least not that Jensen could notice, and he studied his colleague extra carefully all day. That was, when he wasn't manically checking his AO3 account for an answer.

Still nothing! 24 hours and nothing… Jensen was sure that he had made a mistake. It hadn’t been Jared, it was only wishful thinking on his part. Then he read through all their conversation and fics one more time and Jensen realized there was nothing in their conversation that actually gave away that Jensen was behind his pseudo. He got to work immediately and started writing a fic that included a specific event that only Jared and he himself could know. He wrote all night and published early in the morning before going to work after yet another sleepless night.

He got into the makeup trailer a few hours later, once again getting a disappointed glare from the makeup artist. Jared was already in his chair getting his makeup on. Besides the initial ”Hello”, there was nothing ordinary or casual about his co-worker this morning. Jared didn't meet his eyes and he didn't make conversation as usual.

Instead, Jared stared intensely at his phone while nervously fidgeting at his shirt, his legs nervously bouncing up and down whenever he realized Jensen was looking at him. The sight of his nervous colleague made Jensen’s heart flip in pure joy. To his surprise, he realized that the euphoric butterflies in his stomach actually made him feel nauseated. He had never been so happy about seeing his co-worker as a nervous wreck!

He couldn’t really contain the smile that spread over his face as he pulled out his phone and logged on to AO3. There was one message that read:

_"...Jensen?"_


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut yet... slight warning for language if that bothers you (but then you're probably not watching the show;-)

It was time to go on set. Both of the stars got out of their chairs and started making their way to the set together in comfortable silence --No! Of course there wasn't comfortable silence. The silence was awkward, deafening, and unbelievably embarrassing.

Jensen had never felt so strange in his life. At the same time he was euphoric, because this had to mean Jared cared for him too! At least, he hoped so... Or maybe it didn't mean that at all...? Maybe Jared was only acting strange and uncomfortable because he was embarrassed Jensen had found out about him being a slash writer? Maybe?

Oh, god. Jensen had never been so confused about something, that up till just minutes ago, seemed to be clear evidence that Jared wanted him. That he had been fantasizing about him. Now he wasn't so sure anymore. It probably was him reading too much in to it.

What if Jared just happened to be an extremely talented writer, who just was that good at describing and projecting the feelings of others? Maybe he just had picked up on how Jensen felt for him and just ran wild with it? _Fuck! He was so screwed._ Of course, it couldn't be as he hoped it would be. ‘That would've been too good to be true after all…’ Jensen thought to himself and tried to focus on the scene they were about to shoot,

He tried to shake off any thoughts of his incredibly sexy colleague, and the embarrassing situation he had managed to put himself in. They were professionals after all so they should be able to do this scene in their sleep if required, no matter if both of them-- _or only one of them_ \--was mortifyingly embarrassed right now.

The take went well, if one considered five retakes of a simple diner conversation a success. Jensen didn't, and he knew that neither did the rest of the crew. Fortunately, no one pointed out just how screwed up they both were today. They forgot their lines and they missed their cues, it was a mess really!  
When they finally made it and were on their way to their chairs, Jensen finally took a shaky deep breath and cleared his throat.

"So fan fiction, huh?” he asked, willing himself to look at Jared for more than just a millisecond. Oh, he could look at Jared for the rest of his life if he was allowed. It was just that right now he had to force himself with every ounce of willpower he had to just lock eyes with the guy. Every cell in his body --no every brain cell screamed at him too get out of there. Every other cell in his body though, seemed to be hypnotically drawn toward the presence of a larger object of gravity that had caught them in its field, and they would have been happy circling that Jared planet for an eternity.

“Uhm, yeah,” Jared admitted and cleared his throat. He was not really looking at Jensen, and had what could easily be mistaken for a blush creeping up his neck.

“So, you think you know a guy! And then he turns out to be this awesome writer along with his many other talents! Is there anything else I should know about while I'm at it? Do you secretly forge art or something in the rest of your spare time?” Jensen asked with a snicker, very pleased with himself for being able to make a joke and avoid the subject he really wanted to talk about (Well ...not ‘talk’, more ‘do’ really...).

“Actually! You're not that bad writer yourself! ” Jared chuckled softly as they sat down in their chairs and he gave Jensen a quick sideway look.

“Yeah! Who knew we’d both make such fantastic fangirls?” Jensen offered and hoped Jared will hook the bait, and take the offered way out.

“Yeah, who knew!” Jared agreed with a flirty smile and a laugh before being interrupted by someone in the staff asking a questions that took up all of his time before the next take.

This was good! This Jensen can work with. This gave them a way out of the awkwardness. Well, not really… but right now he was willing to hang on to any tiny shred of dignity there might be left. This was a start, at least. Neither of them admitting to anything specific, just being fanfic writers. Jensen could live with that.

He really didn't know why he had let himself get so carried away thinking that the stories were anything else then just that-- _stories_. _Fairy tales_. You know, ‘madeupshit’.

Turned out, that was the end of their awkward conversation and before they both knew it, the day had passed working and falling back into their comfortable roles of the best friends on Supernatural.

It was parts both of them knew how to act really well.

Jensen figured there really shouldn't have to be any acting involved at all in that part, but right now it felt like he was putting on a performance of a lifetime just to stay calm and act _casual_. He really should be awarded an Oscar for this! Especially after lunch when he very _casually_ strolled over to Jared’s trailer to chat _casually_.  
Because that was what they do and that is exactly what a unembarrassed and _not-at-all_ mortified Jensen would do if everything was all dandy and normal between them.

There was, of course, nothing normal and relaxed between them, but Jensen played his part and either Jared was a much better actor then Jensen usually gave him credit for, or Jared actually was all casual about their mutual ‘interest’ in fanfiction, as Jensen pretended to be.

After a while Jensen was actually convinced that this morning’s episode was just as ordinary and meaningless that both of them managed to reduce it too, and they were back to their usual comfortable talks and badgering.

Days went by, even weeks went by and neither of them mentioned-- _or even looked at_ \-- the elephant in the room. Heck, this wasn't an elephant, this was a _pink and fluffy Mammoth_. Nevertheless, if they ignored it long enough it would shrink and fade away right?

“Yeah, because that is how these things work... not!” Jensen said out loud to himself when lonely in his apartment in Vancouver one night.

He was worse off now than he had been the first years of their friendship. He was literally trembling with desire every time he and Jared were in the same room together. Even though he knew that the interest most likely was one-sided, the thought of the slightest possibility that it could be reciprocated had him in a lovesick state he hadn't experienced since he was a teenager.

The first years of their friendship, when Jensen had desired his co-worker in an almost frantic fashion, he had solved the problem with always having others around when he and Jared hung out together. It had been a great way to avoid embarrassing incidents, like him trying to kiss his co-worker, for example. Fortunately, over the years things settled down and Jensen managed to restrain himself in a not too tiresome manner. He and Jared had found a pace and a comfort around each other that didn’t provoke Jensen into thinking dirty things about his friend _all_ the time. ‘Well that was the good old days!’ he thought and figured it was time to bring back the ‘never alone in the room with Jared’-tactics again!

_He was so screwed..._

Oh, how he cursed himself and his uncontrollable impulsivity. Why had he sent that message? Why? There were medications for impulse control these days, weren't there? He was going to talk to his doctor about it first thing monday morning! Impulse control! That was going to be his new mantra to live by!

Neither him nor Jared had published any new stories since “The Morning”-- as he nowadays referred to the incident. That may have been a hint that there was something more going on here then just regular 'fangirling', but Jensen refused to read anything into anything anymore.

That was why it was very confusing when a few hours later samjarpad published a poem “The reasons I love Jensen”. It was absolutely beautiful and Jensen couldn't hold it together anymore. _Fuck impuls control_! He pressed Jared’s number on the phone and Jared picked up after only one tone.

“Jensen!” he heard Jared answer in a slightly slurred voice. _Was he drunk?_

“Did you mean it? I mean for real… The poem, I mean!” Jensen blurted out, not really making any sense to himself and probably not anyone else either he figured.

“It took you long enough…”

“What?”

“To read it!” Jared clarified when Jensen suddenly heard the doorbell.

He went over and opened the door, but saw no one there until he peaked out into the hallway outside the apartment. There on the right he found Jared sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall with a half full bottle of whiskey in his hand.

“Brought liquid courage, but drank it… Waiting for you to fucking read that thing,” Jared slurred as he slowly tried to get up of the floor without revealing just how drunk he was. He seemed pretty pleased with his performance giving Jensen a wide ‘happy drunk’ -grin.

Jensen gestured his colleague to enter the apartment, hastily reflecting that being alone with the object of his desires may be in violation with his newly reinstated ‘never alone in the same room as Jared’-rule, but he didn't think he had that much of a choice right now.

He was still to shocked by what he had read and Jared’s unexpected appearance at his doorstep to know what to say. Turned out he really wouldn't have to worry about that part because his drunk best friend had thrown himself down on the couch in the living room. Judging from how he was all stretched out on his stomach legs and arms hanging of the edge, Jared wasn't going to be much of conversational company.

Jensen frowned to himself. ‘There really isn't many couches that could fit a drunk Moose passing out’, he thought with an affectionate smile.

"Jared?" Jensen asked and walked up to the couch, all he got for an answer was:

“Hrrr Mmf”.

He decided to give up on making any conversations, and instead spread a blanket over his friend, and went to bed.


	4. Chapter 4

“Oh, fuck, where am I?” Jared groaned to himself, quickly closing his eyes again as the light hitting them was causing excruciating pain in his brain.

"Good morning, sunshine!” A low and familiar voice said somewhere above his head.

Jared tried to pry open his eyes again to look at the person to whom the familiar voice belonged, but he quickly gave up and instead threw his arm over his eyes to make sure the evil, evil light was kept out of his brain.

"I'm going for a run,” the voice continued, "There's aspirin and water on the table in front of you. I'd recommend you take them and when I'm back I'll make us breakfast!”

Jared heard the door close and he stretched out for the aspirin he vaguely made out on the table. He swallowed them down and then slumped back into the comfort of sleep and darkness.

The next time he woke up, the apartment smelled of bacon and he could hear his stomach grumble in approval. He slowly pushed himself up into what he thought resembled an acceptable sitting position on the couch. _What was he doing there?_ He was obviously at Jensen's loft apartment but he had no recollection of how he ended up there.

‘According to the throbbing hangover, there had to have been plenty of alcohol involved,’ he thought. He could only hope he had not done, or said, anything embarrassing. But knowing himself, he probably had...

He eventually got up from the sofa and walked over to the set breakfast table

“Rough night, huh?” Jensen looked at him while he prepared a plate of much needed hangover food.

"Obviously! I hope it was worth it..." Jared managed to squeeze out with a hoarse voice before digging in on the egg and bacon. "But you look fine," he stated, then he realized that Jensen didn't seem to be hungover. _At all_. Instead, he was sitting there like some poster-boy of health personified. _"Fuck! What happened last night...?_ "

"Well, I wasn't involved in this particular party until the end of it, but you don't remember that, do you?" Jensen asked and studied him in a weird and curious way.

"Hmm, no...” Jared said thoughtfully. “I can't really say I do remember everything about last night, except that judging from the hangover, I must really have had a great time!” he said with a huge grin. “Don't really remember how I ended up here though?" he admitted with a puzzled look on his face.

It wasn’t like it was the first time one, _or both_ , of them have partied their brains out, but usually one of them remembered enough to fill in the gaps of the evening. He really wished Jensen would stop looking at him in that curious way. He couldn’t help but feel as if he had said or done something embarrassing.

"So, spill it, what did I do?" he asked when he couldn’t take the strange glare anymore.

"I don't know?” Jensen half asked, half said. “Dude! You just showed up here and stumbled right in to pass out on the sofa. Not really much excitement to black out over if you ask me."

‘That doesn't sound right, there’s something Jensen wasn't telling here... He could tell from the little twitch around Jensen’s eyes as he said it. Something had happened, but Jared couldn't, for the life of him, figure out what. Like things weren't awkward enough between them as it already were...’ he reflected and went back to shoveling breakfast in his mouth with an appreciative groan. First priority really had to be getting his water balance in check. And then, _maybe_ , he could give this subject the attention it needed.

Jared helped tidy up the kitchen after breakfast and normally that walking back and forth in a tiny space placing everything in its place, alongside his best friend, wouldn't bother him. But being hungover, Jared was more than legally horny this morning and those accidental brushes of skin, and arms bumping into each other, had him leaving the kitchen in a hurry. Excusing himself with the need to take a shower to clear his head of the hangover. (Well it was one of the reasons for the shower, so it wasn't exactly a lie…)

When Jared finally returned home about an hour later, he quickly discovered the reason for Jensen's distress and the obvious lying he had done at breakfast: the poem. He deleted the poem and didn't really know how to go about this major fuck up.

‘Jesus! What had he been thinking? If he didn't know better it was almost as if he had published that on purpose, to provoke a reaction?’ he speculated to himself and realized that in order for him to work up the courage to do something like that, there had to be a considerate amount of alcohol involved...

_Fuck, what had he done?_ More importantly; how was he going to get out of this one? He doubted Jensen would be able to write this of as a joke… He needed a believable explanation for this one.

In their next conversation, he quite ‘ _casually_ ’ worked in how embarrassed he was about publishing the poem by mistake. A poem that was meant to be a part of his next J2-fic. He found it believable. It seemed as if his friend believed him too. If He didn't, at least he didn't make any fuss about it. Jared was very grateful towards his co-worker for that.

Of course, there was no J2 story coming up. He doubted he could write one, even if he wanted to at this point. Jared ‘wrote what he knew’ and up to this point it had been simply a matter of writing down his elaborate fantasies about his colleague or the characters they played on set.

Not really that challenging.

If he wrote something now, it would only describe how terribly awkward things were between him and Jensen and somehow he doubted the readers would enjoy that. He knew he didn't--in fact, he hated it.

Hated walking around on edge every time Jensen was around. Hated how it seemed everything Jensen said these days was scripted. As if he had every sentence figured out on beforehand. He hated how Jensen always seemed to prefer the company of others above Jared’s; always dragging someone along with them. They hardly ever were alone with each other. Jared missed them together, missed how it used to be relaxed and comfortable –simple!

He really wished there was a way to fix things, but he didn't know how. This weekend they were going to Vegas Con. An event they both usually looked forward too, but now he couldn't imagine anything more painful than being pinned next to his former (?) best friend on a tiny continental flight.

Not to mention the convention events themselves.

He doubted they would be able to show off their bromance like they usually did. Jensen probably should do the main event with Misha instead of him.

_Unless of course..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't loose faith. There will be kissing soon, very soon :-)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right! All you guys who started reading this story thinking this was going to be all, nice and clean "gen.” and no smut. You better get out now! Not major smut warning (I think it is kind of mild actually, but I'm kind of damaged goods, so don't take my word for it;-) If by any chance there are any “morally dubious” people left now, feel free to stay on and enjoy! 
> 
> That was a very long and complicated way of saying “I’m changing the rating on this story to ‘mature’. 
> 
>  
> 
> ***

"Awkward HOT! ... Awkward. Hot... Awkward", seemed to be the only thoughts that flew through Jensen's brain these days. That fucking flight nearly killed him by way of ‘blue balls’.

He couldn't stop obsessing about Jared’s stories. He had been very disappointed when the lovely poem had been deleted, but with the explanation for it a few days later it had all made sense. It had been an honest mistake on Jared’s part and had not at all been some kind of declaration of Jared’s undying love-- as Jensen, for a moment, had thought it was.

Of course it hadn't been. Once again, Jensen was seeing things that weren't really there.

His best friend seemed a bit different these days; a bit secluded, shut off in a way. Jensen had a hard time figuring out what the cause was. It seemed they had come to terms with the fanfiction thing by now, so there was something else eating at Jared. He intended to find out what it was this weekend.

Conventions were excellent excuses for drinking and having a great time with other members of the _Supernatural_ family. As long as he was ‘ _never alone in the same room as Jared_ ’, this was going to be a great weekend!

He really hadn't seen it coming… Riding the elevator _alone_ with Jared. Apparently, the five year old-Jared, today.

"What ARE you doing?" Jensen asked the childish grinning man in front of him.

Jared had pushed what seemed to be about 20 different random floors on the elevator’s button panel. In a 53 stories hotel there were a few to choose from.

“Research!” Jared answered with a fiendish grin.

‘Oh, that can't be good’ Jensen thought just as the elevator stopped at the 12th floor, sliding the elevator doors open and shut again for no one. Only about ten or fifteen or so of these stops to go before they could finally get out of this confining space where Jensen was _alone_ with Jared

“Research! For a fic?” Jensen asked, trying really hard to ignore how the atmosphere in the elevator had gone from friendly and fun to electrifying and intense in only seconds.

He was trying real hard not to notice the way Jared’s teeth bite his lower lip. He absolutely did not notice how Jared’s eyes were glued to his own lips, that may very well be shiny from his tongue sliding over them, like he was about to eat something very tasty and tempting. He was absolutely not noticing ‘ _that_ ’ as the elevator stopped on the 18th floor.

“Good!” he thought, the sound of sliding elevator doors seemed to bring some of his brain functions back online, but not nearly enough to keep himself from noticing how Jared took one step closer to him and slid his hand along the handrail Jensen was gripping tight.

Jared’s hand was making contact with Jensen’s now; sliding over his hand and Jensen wasn't drawing back. He really should draw back, back up a few steps, not stay that close to Jared. He really should…

Fuck, he was so hard.

Every ounce of blood in his body must be pooled in his groin right now. Jesus! Jared was leaning in… He was going to kiss him! Oh fuck! Then Jared was kissing him and Jensen wasn't trying NOT to kiss him back. On the contrary, he kissed him back very, very much and very, very, hard even pushing that gorgeous body up against the mirrors of the elevator.

‘One could think that he was desperate for this, that he wanted this. One could think that the gasps and the panting from Jared’s hands touching him were signs of Jensen wanting this. One could think so,’ Jensen briefly reflected to himself when the elevator stops at the 28th floor.

This probably wasn't a very good idea, making out with his best friend. This probably was in fact the worst idea either of them had, but neither of them seemed to care about _that_ right now.

Oh fuck it--who was he kidding. He wanted this! He wanted Jared’s off-season 'almost a beard stubble' scratching over his exposed throat. He wanted to moan out loud when Jared’s hands slid down his ass, groping it feverishly. He was not even complaining a little when Jared unbuttoned his jeans and pulled out his achingly hard cock and palmed it with a purpose.

He, of course, had to give his colleague the same treatment because that felt so fucking good. Jared didn't seem to find it at all strange that his best friend unbuttoned and palmed his impressive, hard cock. He didn't seem to be complaining about that -- at all.

When Jared’s come covers Jensen's hand a few stories and stops up, Jensen thought maybe he was right in thinking Jared had been writing down his fantasies about him. At that thought he smothers Jareds hand with his own come and they both pant, laughing as they pressed their foreheads together, catching their breath, between sweet kisses.

The elevator stopped at the 46th floor. and they heard talking and laughing only seconds before the the doors slid open. A couple stepped into the elevator. They had managed to wipe their hands and tuck themselves in, in a rushed manner, but the elevator reeked of semen and the suspicious stains on the front of their pants kind of screamed out what happened here.

The couple get of at the next stop on the 51th floor. Jensen didn't think that floor had been their original destination, but was grateful nonetheless. As soon as they door close, they both start laughing again.

"What were you researching?" Jensen asked as they step off the elevator on the 53d floor, their final destination.

"I was researching how long it would take for J2 to kiss each other when alone in an elevator," Jared said with a laugh, sliding an arm around Jensen's waist and steering them towards his suite.

"Hello boys... There you are!" a very familiar voice called out behind them.

Jared quickly let go of Jensen's waist, and they both slowly and reluctantly turn towards Shepard stepping out of his room a few doors down.

"Just wanted to tell you we are meeting up for dinner downstairs in twenty. You may want to clean up before then," he says with a insinuating smile that is truly only worthy of the King of Hell.

They parted reluctantly and went into their respective rooms. This was not what Jensen figured would have happened after the mind blowing event in the elevator. All he wanted was to taste that mouth again. He sighed loudly to himself and started to change, getting ready for a dinner he really had no desire attending but he figured it was important to keep up appearances. It was a shame that it had to be the cast’s worse gossip that had caught them outside the elevator, but hopefully he hadn't really noticed anything.

That smile could have been just his normal smile, actually. Still, Jensen found it to be a bit disturbing.

He doubted anyone else but the real hard core fan girls would appreciate finding out that he and Jared had a little bit more than a bromance going on between them. Besides, it wasn't like this was something that was guaranteed to work out, after all.

Jensen had kind of figured that Jared was straight; there had been girlfriends over the years. He seriously was rethinking that idea now. ‘Okay, so he’s Bi!’ he thought while cleaning himself up. It wasn't ideal, but Jensen wasn't going to inspect this particular given horse's mouth. (Well he was planning too―in detail and in depth―but the general idea, was clear.)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started out as two chapters but ended up, a bit longer, final chapter.

‘Oh, my god! They had kissed! Fuck, they had jerked each other off! But most importantly they had --kissed! And what perfect kisses they had been, just like he knew they'd be,’ Jared thought as he, with a madman's happy grin on his face, removed his come stained jeans and changed into a clean pair. ‘Shit, I sound like a teenage girl. Shit, I _feel_ like a teenage girl.’ Not that he knew what it really felt like to be a teenage girl, but it had to be something like this. All giddy and jittery. Like his blood was spiked with carbon dioxide.

It had been years since he had been on such a high. Oh, how he wanted to just storm over to Jensen's room and forget all about dinners and public appearances.

Unfortunately, they had to play their parts.

It was only tonight's dinner and tomorrow's panel, then they could return home again. And then he could taste those lush, soft, willing lips again and take the time to taste them, lick them, bite them and just do that on repeat…

A little less than 24 hours! He could do this! For Christ’s sake, he had been doing this for years and years. What difference would a few more hours of lusting after Jensen be in comparison. Right?

Little did he know that each minute in Jensen's presence, now that he had had a taste, was pure agony. It seemed the measurement of time was now equivalent to the time spent in Hell on the show.

Or worse; One minute in the presence of Jensen felt like one hour in terms of the amount of self control he had to apply. This was going to be a _very_ long night...

Meeting up with the rest of the gang downstairs went surprisingly well. His heart threatened to beat its way out of his chest at the sight of Jensen, but other then that, all was fine. Until the actual placement at the dinner table. Jared did not sit down next to Jensen, that would have been catastrophic. Instead, he found himself on the other side of the table, aslant from the co-star. This was a safe distance from any accidental touching or rubbing elbows together.

He had not taken into account the great view of Jensen―and Jensen's hands. Hands that were, just as everything else on that gorgeous man, perfect. Jared kind of had a thing for hands, and now Jensen sat across him absently stroking his knuckles and fingers over his lips. Fingers that, not more than thirty minutes ago, had been covered in his semen. ‘Could he still smell him on his fingers? No of course he couldn't. Get a grip!’ He thought as he heard people laughing around him and he really should at least _try_ to laugh with them. Not stare at Jensen's hands like they was some kind of exotic and rare animal.

Only a few more hours of this torture and then...

Honestly, what was he doing now? Jensen obviously had noticed him staring at his hands because now the man was thoughtfully, and very absently, leaning the tip of his index finger against the tip of his tongue and nipping his teeth at it slowly. Jesus… Now he was seriously doubting the mental health of his friend because NO ONE could be this cruel on purpose; not even Jensen.

Jensen's teasing got to Jared so bad that he had to excuse himself from dinner. If Jensen thought that he could get away with that kind of teasing, he had another thing coming.

“Uhm, so I, uh,” Jared said, nearly stammering. “I think I'm coming down with something. Sorry guys! I'll just go back to my room. Enjoy your Dinner!” he said with a quick glance at Jensen, who finally seemed to be occupied with something other than tasting, sucking or nibbling at his fingers.

To get up to his room he had to ride the elevator that had been the ‘scene of the crime’ not long ago. His heart was racing and it was almost like re-living it all over again. He was so going to have a long and cold shower back at his room.

Back in his room a few minutes later he received a text from Jensen:

 _“Coming down with something? Serious case of ‘Jensen Withdrawal -sickness_ ’?”

 Jared _:“ After one hit? You are so full of yourself, asshole”_

Jensen _:“Hear there are drugs that can get you addicted after one hit ;-)”_

Jared: " _Jerk_!"

 Jared couldn't help but smile at their badgering. Even though he would never admit it he couldn't help but think about how right Jensen was. He had come down with a severe case of Jensen –sickness... This is probably what it felt like not being able to get your hands on what your body craved most in the world? Jensen had hit him like a drug no doubt about it... A few minutes later a new text came.

 _Jensen: “Do you think I can excuse myself with coming down with’ Jared withdrawal sickness’? Or would that be too obvious_?”

Jared: _“Might raise a few eyebrows. You better stay put and enjoy yourself while I unwind on my bed. Without clothes...”_

Jensen: _"Now that's just cruel, there is no way I can get out of here now."_

Jared: _“Maybe you should have thought of that before all that finger nibbling..."_

Jensen: “ _Bitch!... It wouldn't be all that strange if I have to check in on my poor, sick colleague as soon as desserts are done. Would it? C U soon. Btw No need to get dressed on my part.;-)_

Jared thought it probably was the slowest hours of his life waiting for Jensen. He, of course, chickened out and was fully dressed when there finally was a knock on the door. He was so nervous, he could hardly get his breath under control. He really would have loved to be so confident that he could have been stretched out, naked on the bed, but he just didn't have the nerves for it. He was a pacing nervous wreck by the time he heard the knock.

So this was it! This is what it felt like to finally lose it...

He had years preparing for this moment; one would think that it should be easy. That he had every possible scenario played out in his head, and he probably had, but he still wasn't really prepared for it.

Seeing Jensen outside his door, and the awkwardness that filled the room as he entered, had him paralyzed. Like a deer in headlights. He hoped it didn't show as much as it felt.

Now what...?

‘Who was going to take initiative?’ Jared thought anxiously to himself. It was weird that the events only hours ago seemed to be only a fading dream. Now it all felt like maybe it didn't really happen. Like he couldn't be sure Jensen would agree to some more kissing. Like they had stepped out of character and now they were only friends and co-workers again. Like the events in the elevator had only been a vivid daydream; too good to be true.

“So, uhm, can I get you something to drink?” Jared asked, turning off the TV and moving for the bar. He was painfully aware of Jensen standing in his hotel room, looking just as awkward as Jared felt.

“Yeah, whiskey, if you have any,” Jensen replied and went over to Jared by the bar.

Jared tried very hard to get his hands under control, and hoped his trembling and fumbling with the bottles and glasses wasn't too obvious. He managed to prepare their drinks and passed one over to Jensen.

And now the silence is truly disturbing.

Jensen took a deep gulp of the drink and then drew an audible breath before asking “So, I thought you were straight?” he asked, an awkward, strained look on his face.

Jared let out a sigh of relief of the acknowledgment that something actually had happened. ‘It obviously had! He knew that, but it still seemed to be a little too good to be true’ he thought as he let go of the breath he hadn't realized he had held, and looked at Jensen. He wasn't that surprised by the question, there had been rumors about a few guys through the years, but that of course didn't have to be something Jensen payed attention too. They usually didn't do that, pay attention to rumors about each other

Jensen, seemed so embarrassed of what he just asked that Jared normally wouldn't pass up the opportunity to make fun of his embarrassment. But tonight he had no desire to do so. All he wanted was to plant his lips on those plush full lips again and—  
Focus! The man asked you a question!

“Uhm... Yeah, right! Because there are a whole bunch of straight guys writing gay slash fiction?” Jared joked, sarcastically, relieved to get something to focus on other than the awkward enigma of how to get from this standing here talking to actually touching and kissing, before continuing, "Well, yeah, I'm bisexual... Or, no—I don't know. Maybe more of a 'Jensensexsual', if you must know," he admitted not really believing he had said that out loud.

That part of his life had been such a confusing mess for so many years, he had almost given up on labeling it altogether. He studied Jensen's face trying to get a reading of how that revelation had affected him.

Judging from Jensen's facial expression, he seems relieved by the answer.

“Well, when you put it like that, maybe I should have known," Jensen said and smiled back at him.

The tension that had been gone during their short conversation was suddenly back again with full tingling, electric force. One of them was going to have to do something, take initiative or this was just going to be a very awkward and strange evening.

Jared watched Jensen have a sip of his whiskey. He intensely watched Jensen's tongue dart out, licking his lips after lowering his glass. God, he wanted those lips. It felt like he had wanted those lips for a lifetime, and now it suddenly dawned on him that he could! He could have those lips—if he could only force himself out of this paralyzed state he found himself in.

Fortunately he didn't have to make the first move this time. Jensen had stepped in close to him, taking the drink he was holding from his grip, and placing it along with his own on the dresser beside them. Jensen then leaned in and placed those wet, whiskey tasting lips on his, and Jared wasn't paralyzed any more. The spell was finally broken. He pressed himself up against his friend with an approving moan and practically devoured Jensen's lips.

“Fuck! I wanted you all night," Jensen panted between kisses.

“I can assure you the feeling was mutual," Jared said and chuckled softly, sliding his hands under Jensen's shirt, desperate for the feeling of skin beneath his hands. Jensen moaned his approval when Jared finally managed to get in under the fabric.

 Jensen started to unbutton Jared’s shirt, but paused, slightly drawing back looking at Jared for approval. Content with what he saw he then continued unbuttoning, and eventuality slid the shirt off.

"You have no idea for how long I wanted to do this," Jared panted, trying to get his hands working enough to unbutton Jensen's pants. His coordination must be located in a part of his brain that had no access to oxygenated blood right now, because no matter how hard he tried to focus on the task, it was impossible to manage the simple task of unbuttoning Jensen's fucking jeans. He was shaking with lust and desire, fumbling so bad he took a deep shuddery breath of frustration.

"Easy, there tiger. We have all night, no need to rush," Jensen whispered in his ear, his firm and steady hands on Jared’s shaking ones, guiding Jared’s hands to Jared’s jeans button, and then started unbuttoning his own pants. Jared, relieved of his duties, started to unbutton his own pants instead of the frustrating task of undressing the man he obviously desired so much that he couldn't even undress him properly.

Undressing themselves apparently was a task both of them was eager, and able, to perform and it wasn't long before they met in an all naked embrace. Bare skin on skin, hot with desire and want. Somehow they managed to, without Jared consciously thinking about it, get themselves over to the bed.

Jensen ran his hands over Jared’s body and Jared could only manage to moan and desperately kiss and lick every inch of skin he managed to get his mouth on.

“Fuck, you are so beautiful," he murmurs into Jensen's belly as he sat down on the bed and dragged the still standing man into an embrace between his legs. Jensen's hard cock was brushing his cheek for a short moment, silky smooth and warm.

Jared wanted to taste that, to find out if it tasted as good as it looked. He slowly kissed his way from Jensen's belly button down to his groin, hearing Jensen's increasingly strained panting coming to a halt when he finally let his tongue run up the shaft. He let his mouth taste the shiny, bursting cock head and it tasted just as good as it looked! Jensen's hands ran through his hair as he started sucking and swallowing the gorgeous dick in his mouth.

"Shit! Stop that, don't want to spoil all the fun yet, do we?" Jensen said in a strained voice a few moment later, yanking Jared’s mouth off the piece of Jensen's body Jared would have been happy tasting for the rest of his life.

Both men slid down on the bed, meeting in hot and desperate kisses while sliding their hips together. Moaning with pleasure. The sensations of their smooth, silky hard-ons sliding together made them both gasp and grunt.

"How do you want to do this?" Jensen whispered.

Jared froze for a moment. He wasn't the most experienced guy when it came to making love to men. He had never actually done either topping, or bottoming for that matter. He just wanted to keep doing what they were doing. Sliding their cocks against each other, chasing friction, kissing and just grinding into each other. He'd be happy having Jensen rutting against him all night.

Jensen sensed his insecurity. "We don't have to do anything right now if you don't want to,” he said and latched on to Jared’s lips again.

"Can we just do this?"Jared panted out in between kisses, hips bucking up in demonstration.

“Hell yeah! Like that, huh?” Jensen asked in a hoarse voice as he started to grind his pelvis down on Jared in a way that clearly was enjoyable, judging from the sounds coming out of his mouth.

Jensen's hips were moving in short downwards thrusts against Jared. Lining up his cock in that v shape of Jared’s groin and he was lost in his own sensations. Watching Jensen's beautiful face as he was chasing his orgasm was enough to put him over the edge much quicker than he expected. Jensen's hips grinding against his throbbing leaking cock had him squirming underneath the weight of the older man.

He wasn't going to be able to hold it together for much longer. According to the sounds coming out of Jensen's mouth, neither was he.

Jared grabbed Jensen's ass and pressed into him as he came with a loud growl, spilling his come between their stomachs. Jensen thrust against him a few more times before also he came with a moan, shuddering spastic convulsions before dropping his limp body on top of Jared.

They lay like that panting blissfully for a long time. No one wanted to break the moment of pure contentment.

Eventually, Jensen rolled off to lay on Jared’s side. Running a playful finger through the mess on Jared’s stomach, drawing figures on his abs. Jared started giggling from the tickle and the pure silliness of it before he dipped a finger in the mess and placed it on Jensen's nose.

"Ugh! Gross." Jensen laughed just before Jared leaned in and licked the taste of them off Jensen's nose, and kissed him again slow and content.

“Oh, I'm going to miss this," Jensen said and ran his fingers through Jared’s almost-a-beard. “Do you have to take it off tomorrow?” he asked while rubbing his own cheek against it.

“Oh, so you have a thing for 'stubble burn' do you?” Jared answered with an affectionate smile at Jensen before continuing, "Can't really believe this has happened finally! I wanted this for so many years," he said and looked at his lover in disbelief.

"Hey! I think maybe I invented the term 'want' when I first meet you—I win!" Jensen teased at him.

"Oh, it's a contest, is it?" Jared replied with a grin and threw himself on top of the laughing Jensen before kissing him deep and wanting again.

 

***

"Hey, keep your legs to yourself," Jensen whined, leaning over the seat next to Jared on the airplane.

"Oh, c'mon you love it," Jared replied, making no effort whatsoever to retract his legs draped over Jensen's seat. Jensen lifted Jared's legs up and squeezed himself down into the seat underneath them.

Jared noticed a small flinch in Jensen's face as Sheppard walked by their seats.

"What was that?" he asked, following Jensen's worried glance.

"I'm a bit worried about Sheppard knowing about us, that's all," Jensen said with a worried expression on his face.

"Sheppard? He is my biggest fanfic fanboy and a huge J2 fan. I don't think you have to worry about him," Jared revealed with a huge smile.

"Oh, that's a relief," Jensen sighs."In that case... Can I ask your assistance in some research I have prepared myself for. It involves airplanes lavatories and J2?" Jensen asked in a low suggestive voice before getting out of his seat making his way down the aisle toward the nearest toilet.

Jared wasn't far behind...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sorry about the tease ending (not really;-) but if anyone would like to pick up where i left off. I would love to read about J2 and the Mile high club!


End file.
